Blue Coast Burrito (Closed)

This location has closed.

Blue Coast Burrito
3546 Walker
323-3730

Last night the monkeys (Satchel, 4, and Jiro, 2) had their last swimming lesson at the Mason Y. Satchel has been begging to go to a restaurant, so once class was over, we simply walked next door to Blue Coast Burrito.

When Blue Coast Burrito opened up a few years ago, I was really excited. At the time we didn’t have too many burrito joints in town, and I was happy to have one relatively close by, even if it was a chain. Somewhere along the way I stopped ordering burritos and started ordering fish tacos. Last night was no exception. However, once I placed my order, I knew that there was no way in hell I was going to still like them after having discovered the fresh and delicious fish tacos at Las Tortugas.

While I was having this conversation in my head, the monkeys were busy squeezing themselves between the garbage can and the front window. The two college-y guys behind the counter kept glancing at them out of the corners of their eyes and looking at me like, “Uh, do you see what your children are doing?”

Since the only thing I heard were slight giggles I figured they were okay and nothing was getting broken so I proceeded to find something for the boys to eat. I got a side of black beans and rice for Jiro and the kids’ taco meal for Satchel, who is all about tacos these days. I figured it was a safe bet, but unfortunately Blue Coast doesn’t offer plain ole ground beef as a filling. I had to choose between “steak” that was swimming in juice, chicken that was swimming in juice, veggies or beans. I went with the chicken, but knew it was a gamble. I made sure the guy totally smothered both of the tacos with cheese and hoped for the best.

As I was paying ($8.05) and gathering salsa, napkins, and drinks, Satchel ran over to me and said, “Look! There’s a whole table of policemen over there!” Not one to miss an opportunity, I replied, “Hurry up and get your brother before they take you guys to jail.” Satchel scurried off in search of Jiro and soon we were all sitting at the table.

Jiro took a look around and fixed his eyes on his Dixie cup full of water. “Juuuuice!” He pleaded. “Juuuuuice!” Satchel joined in and in the name of “let’s get this meal going” I did what I had to do. I chugged my water and filled my cup up with lemonade to split between the two monkeys. That’s right, I stole a fountain drink right in front of a table of cops!

Once the monkeys had their sugar fix, they showed a little more interest in their food. Satchel didn’t like the way his taco was stuck to the silver foil, but that was easily remedied. Jiro needed some help with his rice and beans, so I got a small Styrofoam bowl from the college-y guys and soon he was chowing down. Seeing this, Satchel requested some rice and beans of his own. The serving was plenty big for all three of us, so that was also no problem.

Before I could take the first bite of my fish tacos, Satchel looked at me and said (you guessed it), “I need to go pee pee.” I looked around and didn’t see a sign indicating the restrooms, but behind me was a door that looked as though it might lead to them. I cracked it and peeked down the hall. Bingo! I was actually able to stand with one foot propping open the main door and one arm propping open the bathroom door so that I could keep an eye on Satchel and Jiro at the same time. I was feeling pretty pleased with myself I must say.

By the time Satchel was back at the table, Jiro was claiming to be done. I convinced him to sit still a little longer by refilling his lemonade. Finally I got to eat my fish tacos, which were, as expected, pretty nasty compared to Las Tortugas. Instead of fresh tilapia there was fried (frozen) cod. Instead of fresh guacamole sauce there was a mayonnaise mixture. I’d say they were just barely a step ahead of Taco Bell. I was hungry so I ate them, but I doubt I will ever eat them again. (The one thing they had going for them was the fact that they were cheap.)

Satchel made it through ¾ of one of his tacos and declared, “I’m full!” This was Jiro’s cue to dismount from his chair and start a rousing game of “chase me.” Unfortunately the cops were gone, so I swallowed my last bite and went in search of a paper bag so I could take home what was left on the table. (Plenty enough for Satchel’s lunch.)

As I was packing up, I bumped into one of the derby girl’s boyfriends who I’ve known for awhile. (His daughter used to go to school with Satchel.) As we were chatting, Satchel came over to say hi and join in on the derby talk. “Trinity’s Dad” had gotten his order to go so we kept it short. As I watched him walk out the door, I realized that Jiro was standing on the outside of the door, holding it open for him. I wondered if he had just escaped or if he had been out there running around for the whole two minutes that I had my eyes off of him.

There went my whole sense of “Hey, this went pretty smoothly!” Once Satchel saw his opening, he took it. Soon they were both running up and down the sidewalk like wild animals and I was left, red-faced, waving good-bye to “Trinity’s Dad.”