Woodlands Indian (closed)

Ed. Note: 9/12/11 Woodlands was recently purchased and is now Flavors Indian Cuisine.

Ed note: Woodlands started serving meat February 12, 2010. It is no longer a vegetarian restaurant. Only in Memphis!

Woodlands Indian Vegetarian Cuisine
4205 Hacks Cross Rd. #101
737-9914

Last Sunday, Warren, the kids (Satchel, 7, and Jiro, 5) and I were at my mom's house in Germantown. Warren spent the afternoon fixing my nephew's bike. As a 'thank you' I suggested that we go to Woodlands Indian restaurant. Warren loves Indian food, and I figured this was our chance to finally try the vegetarian place we had heard so much about from friends.

After a much longer drive than I expected (Hacks Cross is REALLY EAST), we arrived at 5:30pm. Woodlands is located in a nondescript strip mall and the interior is pretty nondescript as well. The place was practically empty, a function, I'm sure, of the fact that they have a lunch (and not a dinner) buffet seven days a week. We know our way around a Japanese restaurant, but Indian? Not so much. With the absence of a buffet and Chicken Tikka Masala, we were a little lost.

I let Warren peruse the menu options while I tried to figure out what to order the kids. There were five options (all $5) on the kids' menu: iddly fry (fried rice and lentil cake), plain dosa (rice crepe), sweet dosa (crispy rice cake layered with sugar and butter), cheese uthapa (rice and lentil pancake topped with grated cheese), and cheese dosa (rice crepe topped with grated cheese). Since telling the kids their far from familiar choices could be potentially damaging and result in them refusing to eat, I made the executive decision to order Satchel the iddly fry and Jiro the cheese uthapa.

Meanwhile, Warren decided he definitely wanted the palak paneer, which is one of his favorites. I mentioned that someone told me that the vegetable pakora platter was a hit with kids, and he liked the sound of that. Based on the pretty pictures in the menu, we also ordered a special spring dosa, one of their specialties. We added an order of naan (which is normally free at India Palace, I think) and a mango lassi (which is a shake).

Feeling proud of ourselves, we sat back and waited for our food to arrive. First up, three mango lassis. Yep, the kids' meals came with mini mango lassis. (Oops--there went $3!) It tasted pretty good in my opinion, but the kids declared it yuck. Good thing we had three of them to drink!

A few minutes later, the rest of our food arrived.

The way that Indian food is described and the way it actually looks never quite matches up in my mind. Take for instance the iddly fry. I didn't think that a "fried rice and lentil cake" would look (or taste) like wedge style French fries. They certainly sounded more nutritious than they looked, but they tasted good and Satchel was eating them, so I considered it a successful dish. Jiro's cheese uthapa was also tasty in my opinion, but I could only get him to eat a couple of slivers. (He instead opted to eat nearly all of the basmati rice we were given to go with the palak paneer.)

The palak paneer was very good, and got a thumbs up from both Warren and I. It looks like creamed spinach with tofu looking chunks of cheese in it, but when we tried to get the boys to taste it, they refused. The vegetable pakora platter was the Indian equivalent of tempura, but even the fried factor couldn't garner any interest from the kids. The special spring dosa was okay. It came with a few sauces that I wasn't sure what to do with (which probably would have elevated it to more than okay). Warren seemed to like it, but it was too big for us to finish.

I heard Satchel say, "Jiro that's not disgusting, that's delicious!" I think he was referring to the iddly fry.

The kids were done eating fairly quickly, but managed to stay seated and quiet. Had we come during a buffet when they were a little hungrier, they may have been more embracing of Indian cuisine. After a solid hour of behaving, Jiro wanted to sit in my lap for the last few minutes of dinner.

We had lots of everything left over--everything except the iddly fry. Our total bill was $43.15 plus tip, which convinced me even further that the lunch buffet (which is $7.95) is the way to go. However, in general, I felt like the food was rather blah and our order was way heavy on the fried.

On our way out, Warren got the kids interested in the Hindu statues adorning the front and had them try the Indian "breath mints." It was the most animated they'd been all evening.


On our way home, I reread Steph's review of Woodlands in Nashville as well as the write up in the Commercial Appeal by Jennifer Biggs. When I mentioned that the "Bombay Chat Corner" of the menu featured street food and that Biggs highly recommended a cauliflower dish that we never saw, Warren got huffy with me and suggested that I do research BEFORE we go out to eat and not AFTER.

Snap!

Humdingers

Humdingers
6300 Poplar Ave
(901) 260-8292

We've driven by Humdingers a hundred times. I always assumed it was a chain and nothing to get too excited about. However, when my friend Mary tried it for the first time last week and started raving about the fish tacos, I had to go. (Especially after a little internet research taught me that Humdingers is not a chain.) I looked at their menu online and was especially impressed that the kids' meals came with a choice of sides that included a number of vegetables.

Warren, the monkeys (Satchel, 7, and Jiro, 5), and I headed east on Friday night for the sole purpose of eating at Humdingers. For navigational purposes, I told Warren that it was behind Shart-fil-A where Mama Fu's used to be. (After reliving the shart experience, we then had a heated debate over whether it was Mama Fu's or Papa Pia's.)

When we walked in, the restaurant was fairly packed and there was quite a line. (It's one of those Pei Wei style order at the counter and sit down restaurants.) Warren started having second thoughts. I directed his and the monkeys' attention to the menu. When I asked Satchel if he wanted chicken or shrimp, he looked at me incredulously and said, "Chicken or shrimp? That's it? That's ALL they serve here?" I'm not sure if he thought I was lying or if he thought it was the dumbest idea ever, but he was not happy. Likewise Jiro started cranking out on me and said, "I'm not eating!"

Luckily the line was steadily progressing and soon we were next to the glass where you could see the cooks grilling the chicken, fish, shrimp and a variety of vegetables. Suddenly everyone was in a much better mood. Satchel opted for the crispy shrimp and grilled asparagus and Jiro opted for chicken tenders and a Caesar salad. (I shouldn't have mentioned chicken tenders and just gotten him the grilled chicken. I was however smart in not mentioning the seasoned fries as a side!) The kids' meals also came with a juice box and cookie for a very reasonable $3.99. Warren decided on half a chicken, hot, with broccoli and I got the taco combo which included one of each variety of taco--shrimp, fish, and chicken--and a side of grilled zuchini.

Once I had semi-committed everyone's order to memory, Warren took the boys to grab a table. (He was worried we wouldn't be able to sit down because it was so crowded.) I got two waters for me and Warren and our total bill was $28. I delivered the boys' juice boxes to the table, and hid their cookies, which were in a paper sleeve, near Warren before going to get our waters. Back at the table we busied ourselves with conversation. Warren showed us pictures from his latest dig near Nashville. Satchel had brought in a book to read and was quietly doing so. I gave Jiro my pen and notebook and he happily started drawing scenes from the next Rock-n-Romp. (I think Santa was invited.)

Our food came out about ten minutes later and it all looked great. I especially liked that it was served on real plates.


I thought the kids' plates looked a little skimpy, but the servings were actually ok. They weren't overwhelmed by a giant plate of food and were easily able to make a happy plate. With the cookie and juice they were full. Satchel especially loved his. Jiro's chicken tenders weren't anything special and he balked when it came time to eat his salad. (I happily ate it for him.)


Warren's chicken also came with rice and was a very hearty portion. He didn't think it was as spicy or flavorful as it could be and he said that the grilled flavor didn't go past the skin. I theorized that they cooked it in the oven and then threw it on the grill to finish it up. He spiced it up with some of the signature piri piri sauces on the table. Warren really liked the broccoli, especially marinade because it had sesame oil in it.

My tacos were good. There wasn't too much taste difference between the three, it was more of a texture difference, due to the heavy portion of asian slaw and the spicy sour cream mixture that dressed them. Of the three, I think the fish was the best because I could actually taste the fish through the dressing. My grilled zuchini "slivers" actually added up to a whole zuchini and were quite tasty and filling. I gave one to Warren and he was very grateful.

When we were done eating, Jiro decided to squirt ketchup all over his face, so I had an opportunity to check out the ladies' room. It was a one top with a fold down changing table on the wall. Bonus points.

We all left full and happy. I'm not sure we'll make a special trip to Humdingers again, but if we happen to be in the area around meal time, it'll certainly be a contender. I think I'll go with a fish dish next time since they seemed to cook the various kinds completely on the grill.

Dan McGuinness Pub

Dan McGuinness Pub
4698 Spotswood
761-3711

Friday night the monkeys (Satchel, 7, and Jiro, 5) and I joined 3/4 of Team Chockley (Steph, Connor, 6, and Chloe, 3) for a jaunt through the Snowy Nights event being held in the Botanic Garden’s My Big Backyard exhibit. Once the four kids had gotten most of their wiggles out we headed to nearby Dan McGuinness Pub. I had heard lots of raving about their kids’ meals and I needed to see firsthand. It had never once occurred to me to take the kids to Dan McGuinness. It’s a pub! Okay, okay, that’s never really stopped me before, but the fact that it’s an Irish pub makes the "Hey let's eat dinner at a bar!" idea less appealing to me. Besides, I’m not a fan of Irish food. There, I said it.

Friday also happened to be the first night of Hanukah. Traditionally Jews celebrate by eating greasy potato latkes. The oiliness is supposed to be reminiscent of the miracle oil that burned for eight days while the Jews un-defiled the great temple. I figured we could celebrate with some other greasy bar food item and that Dan McGuinness’s proximity to Target would be conducive to the second tenet of Hanuakah--showering children with gifts. (I’m not making this up! Jews know how to party.)

Steph and I separately coached our kids on what sort of behavior we expected in the restaurant and once they were ready to comply, we went inside. It was a little after 6pm and only a few tables were occupied. We were the only two adults who chose to bring kids with us, however. I felt like we were getting the eye--especially after the waitress plopped us down at a table right smack in the middle of the dining room--but it was too late to back out. I turned to Steph, “They wouldn’t have an awesome kids meal if they didn’t want us to come with kids, right?”

There were a few booths with individual flat screen TVs, but our party of six was too big. Steph pointed out that the TV might actually make the meal worse. I agreed. The kids were content to watch soccer out of the corners of their eyes on the surrounding wall mounted flat screens between coloring, chatting, and eating.

Steph and I both immediately started scanning the very impressive beer menu. Newcastle for me and Blue Moon for her. Both on tap!

Now about those kids meals. I scanned the menu and didn’t see them. (I had also scanned the website the night before.) I looked at the paper place mats the kids had been given to color to see if there was a menu printed there. Voila! I asked Satchel read the choices. “Chicken tenders...Oh, I want chicken tenders!” he exclaimed.

I’d been duped! “Read the whole menu,” I said.

“Chicken tenders, grilled chicken, grilled cheese, peanut butter and banana sandwich, corn dog nuggets--” he was interrupted by Jiro who starting shouting for corn dog nuggets. I don’t know exactly what a corn dog nugget is but I do know that I don’t want my kids to eat one.

I turned back to Steph. “What’s so great about these kids' meals?” I asked. She pointed out that the last kid's menu item was a veggie plate and that each meal came with two side items and ice cream and cost only $4.95. The side items list was on the main menu, quite extensive and included a number of vegetables. Clearly having Satchel read the menu out loud was the wrong way to go. We could have merely read the list of side items. Vegetable plates all around!

Steph decided to get Chloe the PB&B and Connor, of course, wanted Chicken Tenders. Steph chose french fries and roasted apples as their side items. She ordered a Roast Beef Au Jus sandwich with fries for herself.

I had started on the adult menu and noticed that they served Scotch Eggs. (Two hard-boiled eggs wrapped in seasoned sausage then fried golden brown and served with a seasoned Dijon mustard.) Hard-boiled eggs and sausage are two of Jiro’s favorites. They also had Satchel’s favorite, potato soup. I commenced swaying them towards the adult menu items and with very little effort was successful. I decided to get the Shepherd’s Pie (uh, maybe I do like Irish food after all!) with a side of steamed broccoli (for Jiro) and spinach casserole (for Satchel).

Once we had ordered everything, I stopped the waitress from leaving the table and added, “I feel compelled to order some fried pickles.”

Steph took Chloe to the bathroom and I played Tic Tac Toe with Jiro. Connor and Satchel were busy giggling and drawing at the other end of the table. Before Steph and Chloe could come back, the fried pickles arrived. I pictured them as spears in my mind, but they were chips. Piping hot and served with a ranch dressing, they totally hit the “Let’s eat grease on Hanukah” spot. I couldn’t convince Connor to try one, but both Jiro and Satchel ate several (minus the ranch).

Chloe and Steph returned and Steph informed me that the bathroom was lovely and that Chloe had a “first”. She went in solo and did her business without assistance. Steph, who doesn't like pickles, also thought they were tasty. Before she could help me finish them off, two waitresses arrived with arms full of gigantic plates of food. Satchel’s soup bowl was at least twelve inches round. The kids’ meals came on gigantic trays (with an addition of carrots and ranch). Steph’s sandwich looked huge and my Shepherd’s pie was definitely hearty--especially with two gigantic bowls of veggies on the side. Jiro’s Scotch Eggs were the only thing that looked relatively normal sized.

I took pictures of everything, but it was fairly dark and I hate using a flash, so none of my pictures is worth sharing.

Of all the food gracing our table, the chicken tenders and fries were the most popular. Steph traded a handful of fries for half of a Scotch Egg and Connor was generously sharing his chicken and fries with both Satchel and Chloe. Jiro eventually ate half of one Scotch Egg and three bites of broccoli under much duress. Satchel picked at his soup for thirty minutes and managed to eat about half of it. (I had asked if it came with green onions and they said no, but I didn’t think to ask if it was made with celery. I believe the green chunks prevented Satchel from wolfing it down.) Satchel also reported that he was not a fan of the spinach casserole.

I can only surmise that Satchel and Jiro simply weren’t hungry. We’d had a hearty snack of edamame on our way to the Gardens and hot chocolate while there. That may have done it.

My Shepherd’s pie was delicious and I’d definitely order it again. (It came with a wonderfully greasy donut on the side that both Steph and I were scared to eat for fear of never buttoning our pants again.) The sandwich also seemed to be a winner.

The kids had managed to behave really well the entire meal which is a true testament to the power of practice makes perfect. It isn’t easy to go out to dinner with other kids and stay out of trouble, but they did. We had very little squirming, only a burst or two of loud talking, and not a single spill! The latter, no doubt due to the fact that all of the kids received their waters in cups with cone shaped lids with only a small opening for a straw. 100% spill proof!

The waitress came over and Steph and I expected the bill, but instead she asked, “Are you ready for the kids’ ice cream?” We didn’t have to answer because the kids did. I worried what was going to happen when only Connor and Chloe received the ice cream that was free with the kids meals, but before I could formulate an explanation the speedy waitresses (who I’m know guessing are also moms) came out with four saucers of vanilla ice cream. Oh but that’s not all. They had a small basket with chocolate sauce, caramel, raspberry, and sprinkles. They left it on the table for the kids to have free reign.

OMG!

Amazingly, all four kids took appropriate amounts of topping and ate dessert while pleasantly carrying on conversation.

“That’s a damn fine kids meal,” I said to Steph.

What I forgot to say was, "Let's do this more often!" Thanks for a great evening, Steph!

The Kitchen on Brookhaven (Closed)

Ed. Note: I just read that The Kitchen is closed. We only just discovered it!

Welcome our new guest blogger, Gary Bridgman! Gary is a Vollintine-Evergreen resident, former fine-dining headwaiter, bartender and limo driver. He is the dad of a six-year-old monkey and has co-authored Lonely Planet's Louisiana & the Deep South as well as having food and travel articles published in Utne Reader, Nightclub & Bar magazine, Restaurant Marketing, Memphis Flyer, Oxford Town, and Fodor's Tennessee. Look out!

The Kitchen on Brookhaven
715 W. Brookhaven Circle
(901) 761-1530

My two goals for this past Black Friday: One: don’t go shopping. Two: find an impressive restaurant for a very early (5 p.m.) dinner that’s both reasonably kid-friendly and located close to the Malco Paradiso in East Memphis. My wife’s (Melissa) aunt and uncle were in town, from Nashville, for Thanksgiving ant they wanted to return our hospitality by taking us (including our own “monkey,” age 6) out to see a matinee of Fantastic Mr. Fox and then on to dinner somewhere. I had never heard of “The Kitchen at Brookhaven” before that afternoon, but that became our selection after a bit of Web research. (Note: I had no idea that I would be writing this review until a couple of days later.)

Risk factor: We chose it over our visiting host’s stated preference. Melissa’s Uncle Bruce was blown away by the Beauty Shop the last time he was in town, and hinted that he’d like to take us there again. He’s a pretty suave Chicago native who loves good food and interesting restaurants, and he’s always taking us to out-of-the-way Nashville spots when we visit. There’s no way he’s going to enter a chain restaurant in Memphis on my watch, so I am honor-bound to steer him to something authentic, local, unique or all of the above.

His initial suggestion, returning to Beauty Shop, had problems. One, I didn’t want to repeat on him. Two, Cooper-Young was way out of their way. Three, we were going to be ready to eat right a 5 o’clock. Hell, some of the service staff at Beauty Shop are probably still asleep at that hour! Our prior visit to Beauty Shop had been 5 p.m. on a Saturday, and we were not only the first table of the evening, we actually finished dinner and left before the second table of the evening was even seated! That was mildly awkward on different levels.

So, looking for alternatives, I consulted an online restaurant finder (not the CA’s, which can’t really search by neighborhood) for options near that theater (Poplar/White Station). Fondly remembering the late Chef Raji Jallepalli-Reiss’ original Indo-European fusion restaurant, which was around the corner on Brookhaven Circle in the 1990s, I paused over the choices on that former residential drive. When I read that the new “Kitchen” had low-priced continental cuisine and a children’s menu, I had to try it.

-Our dining experience-
The Kitchen stays open throughout the afternoon, so our party of six wouldn’t be catching the staff flat-footed when we arrived just before 5 o’clock. The servers were prepared and cheerful, even when the wind-chilled ladies in our party ordered hot tea -- a scourge to some hardboiled dinner waiters, who can open and serve an expensive bottle of wine and smoke half a cigarette with the dishwasher faster than they can muster all the crockery and condiments for tea service, an item that will net them 30 cents in tip revenue.

The dining room looks dark, but that's a neat interior design trick, as the tables are well lit. The attractive, natural-finish wooden tables and chairs take the pressure off parents for drink and sauce spillage. Unlike some of the restaurants I’ve worked in, the Kitchen didn’t pack the dining room with too many tables, so parents who insist on stylin’ the scene with their $900 Stokke or Bugaboo strollers will only cause minor bottlenecks. The restrooms passed muster on cleanliness and fixtures being in working order.

The only downside to the dining room is that its surfaces don’t absorb sound very effectively, despite the acoustical panels on the ceiling. There were two other parties of six near us, and it was often impossible to hear what anyone was saying two seats away even though I was hearing plenty of details from conversations at the other table.

The food was an across-the-board hit with everyone, including the boy, who selected chicken tenders from the $5 kids’ menu. We got them to substitute his French fries with broccoli (which is a side item on the main menu). The breading on the tenders had a faint Asian spice whiff, but not enough to raise a kid’s ick factor. He chose the chicken over “deconstructed” chicken pot pie, shepherds pie and pasta. The kids’ meal comes with a soft drink and one of those little institutional plastic tubs of ice cream.

The rest of us ordered items from all over the menu as our entrees: A Portobello burger with balsamic dressing ($8), shrimp cake appetizers with roastd red peppers ($8), a wonderful sautéed goat cheese salad straight out of the Wolfgang Puck playbook ($9), a classic eggplant parma ($11) that Uncle Bruce really enjoyed –- score! -- and my wonderful “boxty of the day” ($12) plus a small dinner salad for a modest $2 upcharge. The boxty (a Gaelic derivation) is a griddled potato pancake stuffed with different fillings. That night’s boxty was chicken with a cream sauce, forming what could well be the ultimate comfort-food dish.

We will return, as the restaurant kept its promise of well prepared European comfort food on a budget.

Epilog: Uncle Bruce admired my reasoning in selecting The Kitchen and he enjoyed the food and service, as did his wife and the rest of us. But as we stood between our cars in the parking lot, he said he’d still like to return to the Beauty Shop the next time. At that point I confessed how awkward I felt the last time when we were the only table there, and that I wanted him to experience the scene there when it’s busy. He grinned and explained that he just loved the food and the décor and that having such a cool restaurant all to himself (without the noise) was part of the charm.

“Like Elvis used to do or a Mafia don?” I asked, and he gave his “there you go” gesture. So Bruce's next meal in Memphis will be at Beauty Shop, but my next meal in East Memphis will probably be at The Kitchen.