35 W Ontario Street
Chicago, IL 60654
Satchel (14) really didn't want to go to Chicago. He wanted to stay in Memphis and hang out with his friends. Luckily, one of his friends (the rabbi's grandson = TRG), raved about the Tommy Boy skillet at Eggsperience. Suddenly, Satchel had a raison d'etre.
Our first order of business on Sunday was breakfast at Eggsperience. It was downtown and close to the other things we wanted to do (Cloud Gate, Sky Deck, etc.). We called an Uber and got dropped off right at the door. Despite there being a ton of people waiting, we got a table right away. Satchel was in the best mood I probably have ever seen him in since he turned 11.
Once we got our menus, Jiro got very serious. "Is this place vegan?" he asked.
Before I could answer, Satchel, now the expert, said, "Vegans don't eat eggs, you stupid wonton."
(Satchel likes to make fun of Jiro for being Asian.)
I gave him THE LOOK.
We had a brief primer on vegans versus vegetarians and then went back to the menus. Satchel already knew he wanted the Tommy Boy skillet ($11.99). (Actually Tommy Boy's skillet. That's kind of funny, right? In hindsight I regret not calling it the Pony Boy skillet just to annoy him.)
Jiro wanted the basic breakfast with eggs, bacon, hashbrowns, toast, pancake, etc. ($7.49) I went with a new menu item, the breakfast tacos ($11.49). And an ice coffee. The waitress explained that they just pour regular coffee over ice, and I said that was fine. Then when she left, I simply mentioned that I would like to find a really good coffee shop somewhere. (There was an Intellegentsia place in our hood but I found it at 9pm.)
Then Satchel said, "I don't like you complaining about the coffee at the place I really want to eat at. If I hear one more complaint I'm jumping off the Sky Deck."
He really can be funny when he isn't acting like an a-hole.
Then he started a soliloquy. "This is going to be the best meal of my life. If I am ever on death row, this is the meal I will request."
The rabbi is influencing my life in ways I never knew he would.
Ok, the food.
Satchel happily Snapchatted his then ate every bite.
I thought it would actually come in a sizzling skillet, but whatever. THE TEEN WAS HAPPY.
Jiro's looked good AND he shared his pancake. Win.
After eating everything else, he asked, "Can I eat this orange?"
Mine was tasty as well.
I couldn't finish it, and when the waitress asked if I wanted a box, I smiled and said, "Nope." Mostly because we were going to be walking around all day and that would just be dumb to take it with. Well, Satchel thought this was rude and started lecturing me. "You need to respect all of the Eggsperience workers!"
We paid at the register and then I made a visit to the ladies room. That is when I realized how freaking huge the restaurant was. I bet it seats 300 people. They also have seven locations. So, TRG was definitely on to something.